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It's also true that most of the people with genuine power we meet are female - the Aes Sedai, the Wise Ones, the Wavemistresses. Plus, in the Wheel of time we have the whole saidin/saidar thing. Women and men are different
I tend to operate on the idea that the women in WoT have a certain disdain for certain traits they consider masculine due to the Breaking, much like many real-life cultures have had disdainful views of certain traits considered feminine due to mythical events like Eve succumbing to the temptation of the Serpent. I think that this is emphasized (intentionally or unintentionally) in a few ways;
Most male-dominated groups tend to have females either overseeing them or some aspect of it is for women only (Far Dareis Mai, the Wise Ones, the Panarch of Tarabon is always female (iirc), the Merchants' Council in Arad Doman(?) is almost completely female, the monarch of Andor is always a Queen, Far Madding is an actual Matriarchy, as is Tar Valon, only women can own real estate in Aiel societies, women who take men's virginities have a certain rule over them in Malkieri culture, the Women's Circle holds arguably equal power to the village council in Emond's Field, Ogier males are generally powerless to stop their marriages, as they are all but arranged between their mother and another female Ogier, etc. I could probably go on.
Another thing is that, from my reading, there are a lot of pejoratives related to masculinity, and it's my impression that there are more of those than those related to feminity. Regardless, we see several that seems to be directed to masculinity - particularly a lot that seem to specify that men who are physically strong are mentally deficient in some capacity. It's my personal impression that physical strength isn't held up to be such a virtue as it is in the real world - which makes sense in a setting where there are sorceresses that can lay waste to entire armies through magic, imho. There are a few pejoratives that has to do with feminine promiscuity (typically uttered by other females, iirc.), but that kinda makes some form of sense since females generally run a bigger health risk by being promiscuous than men do, so it could possibly be considered less of a cultural view, and more of a quirk of human biology.
There's also placed a lot of emphasis on how women have to "earn" their womanhood, whereas men don't. To me, this implies that womanhood is seen as more civilized, complicated and in some aspects superior to manhood. There also seems to be a general trend of women being able to do virtually everything men do, but not the opposite. (and Rand's channeling is partially taboo due to this general norm, apart from practical concerns of madness and prophecies of course).
So, yeah, I don't personally feel that the "women are bossy" (or bigoted for that matter) thing in WoT is problematic, rather I find it to be a natural consequence of their history, myths and social reality. I realize that other people who emphasize other elements of the story differently may see it in another light, but this is how I think of the world, at least. It's certainly no more egregious than actual real life (far less so.)
If there's anything that's problematic to me, or a thing that occasionally bugs me, it's the "separate but equal" theme that seems to be going. It's not something that's ever worked in real life, so I find it hard to see as some kind of ideal in a fantasy world - but to me personally, I don't really get too upset about it. Others might, of course - and that's their prerogative. Different people prioritize different things in their entertainment differently.
I think what Robert Jordan does is acknowledge that women and men are different in complementary ways, that sometimes they won't understand each other and annoy each other, but ultimately we are all human and do have a lot in common too. Also the theme that the greatest accomplishments were when Men and Women worked together, kinda shows that one is not better than the other, even when society tries to force that idea on you. That when you can accept a mans or a womans differences from your gender, and embrace the similarities, and combine your strengths, supporting your weaknesses and work together you can do great things That's what I got from his ideas about men and women
Wow! Exactly what I was thinking!! I do agree with Brandegoris, though, that Nynaeve is a B@#$H cuz I don't like how she treats Thom throughout the series. He has been basically everywhere, and knows more about the world than she ever will, but she insists on treating him like a child because of her self-centered, self-righteous, know-it-all attitude.
I think some of how she treats people is clinging to the idea that treating them like that, going on the offensive, is the only way they will respect her, since she is used to people seeing her as "barely off apron strings" or "just an accepted wilder". You do see her later she handles things like a woman without bullying or disrespecting in turn, I think she learned from Alise at the farm that you can get results without weilding a stick
I actually like Nynaeve and its because she gets a lot of character growth if you really think about it. She starts out as a young wisdom, where she probably had men AND women kind of blowing off her ideas and opinions because of her youth (thus why she longs for gray hairs). Then self assured Moiraine comes and takes her people into the wide world, she didn't have to go but she needed to see that those boys she cared for were going to be ok. She fought so hard to be respected first by the womens circle, then by aes sedai, then Egwene starts putting her in her place, she's been forced to realise she can't fight everything tooth and nail all the time, she has to let some things go.
I think some of how she treats people is clinging to the idea that treating them like that, going on the offensive, is the only way they will respect her, since she is used to people seeing her as "barely off apron strings" or "just an accepted wilder". You do see her later she handles things like a woman without bullying or disrespecting in turn, I think she learned from Alise at the farm that you can get results without weilding a stick
No, you're not alone. It's definitely bothered me. Especially how several major plot points rely on basic misunderstandings of failures of communication between two or more characters.
It's a lot worse earlier in the series, and progressively gets better as you get closer to the end, though, so there's something to look forward to.
But for the most part, and especially early on in the series, yes. Most of the women can be classified as manipulative, abusive and completely lacking any form of self reflection, while most of the men seem to be completely and utterly unable to interpret any of the women's behaviors, and have painfully chivalristic (I made up that word) ideals.
I'm also sorry that you like Faile. You're like, one of 3 people in the entire world that like her. :P
Im only on Lord of Chaos. If Nynaeve grows I still have yet to see it, I cant defend her. She is the worst! hahahahah Egwene is also the 2nd worst! hahahah Those girls need a switch.
I think there's one aspect that's being overlooked. At the end of the Second Age, many men went mad. Bad men! I think there was a paradigm shift in the third age in that the women could be trusted to be in control more than men, in general. The system is more of a matriarchy like some American Indian tribes. And that's where you find the superiority complex that some women, especially women who wield the One Power, display. The men, even those that DON'T wield the One Power in the third age, kind of get lumped into the "not to be trusted" category by default.