It looks like by your signature that your wife also had a hand in getting you to join..... Welcome to the club. I was beaten and forced to sign-up against my will but the site is growing on me now. Looks like you've got it under control but if you have any questions feel free to message me.
I didn't know where to put this... here will do. It's rather fitting, I suppose.
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Forward: I do not think I am a dramatic person, and am not looking to cause drama or imply that my absence has been specially important in any way. I simply wish to express my thoughts and feelings as they are, and to be fully transparent. After all, it’s for you I write this.
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About half a year ago, I left for a weeklong conference. Though it was a technology conference, I was doing so many things that did not involve me staring at a computer. It was rather liberating. I work at a computer for the better part of 8 hours, and was spending most of my time at home on a computer. I realized I was becoming so absorbed in staring at a screen for most of the day that the things that really mattered in life were being crowded out. I wasn’t reading my Bible, I wasn’t spending time talking to God, I wasn’t spending a lot of time with my wife, I was off-track at work, etc etc. My priorities had gotten twisted, and I knew something had to change.
Unfortunately, the force with which this revelation hit me caused me to take drastic measures, which, in hindsight, were probably unnecessary. At the time, I shut down most of my online activity completely, leaving just a bit of time for a game here or a video there. One of the primary “culprits” (as I saw them then), was this forum. I was spending a very significant chunk of my daily energy and time here, which, while certainly enjoyable, was contributing to the choking out of other parts of my life, as previously mentioned. What I should have done was just let everyone know I was taking some time off, getting my priorities straight, and that I would probably be back later, assuming everything worked out. What I ended up doing, I regret.
At the time, I thought it best to completely cut myself off, so I stopped visiting the forum. I decided to drop all my TV friends on social media, stop replying to emails, and to ignore the forums completely. I did not want to risk getting drawn back in, and I thought contact with TV members would have done that. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, and though I understand why I did it, I realize I failed to foresee the implications.
I think you’ll agree with me when I say that this site is primarily about relationships. Sure, everyone here is bonded together by a shared love of a book series, but those that stay, stay for the people. I’ve never been the best relational person (in fact, I know it is a weakness of mine), and I thought it would be no problem to ditch everyone I knew here in an effort to find myself. It was a rather selfish move, and I will admit it hurt a bit when people would message me wondering where I went, but I told myself “this is for the best; a clean break is for the best”. I never really considered that other people might miss me and that I was damaging relationships I had built.
Last night, I crawled in bed but for some reason did not fall right asleep as I normally do. Something was nagging at me, and I realized my heart was aching for the relationships I had made here. I’d been shoving them out of my mind and heart for a long time, telling myself it would cause too much drama to go back after the way I left, and that I shouldn’t ruin the clean break I had made. I tried to ignore what I was feeling, but it only grew stronger, and kept me awake for hours. Even after eventually sleeping on my thoughts and thinking about them this morning, I remain convinced that I must come back. I underestimated what had happened while I was here, and my heart is telling me what I should do. More importantly, I’m finally listening.
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All that said, I would like to come back, if you will have me. I understand people regularly leave and come back later, I feel I should apologize for the way I which I left. I dumped you all as a child would do with a plaything they had grown tired of, and did not show the proper amount of respect to the relationships that had manifested and grown over the months I was here. I abandoned positions for which I held responsibility to the Tower and to those I was working for and with. If you are one I have wronged, I humbly ask for your forgiveness. I understand that I may have lost some trust, and am willing to accept that things may not be as they were before. Indeed, to prevent something like this from ever happening again, I won’t be spending as much time here as I was before. Work will be for work, not irc; home will be first and foremost for home, not for spending hours browsing the forums. That said, I will be spending time here, posting, chatting, and building relationships as before. I just have a bit of priority shift, that’s all.
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On humble bended knee, I ask for your forgiveness and hope that you will have me once more,
Welcome back, Mychael. I will lie to you if I say there weren't people who were worried and hurt by the way you left us. Still I understand what you wrote and your position even though I can't agree with you. Still I see you realized your were wrong regarding the way you treated people here and you know... we all make mistakes. I am glad you found your way back and my PM box is always open if you want to talk, no hard feelings at all.
Welcome back Mychael! I'm glad to see that you have sorted out your online life and re-prioritized the things that are most important to you. Finding the proper balance is a struggle for many of us, and I'm pleased that you're working on finding the balance that you need. I'm also pleased that you decided to come back. Welcome.
While, I can't speak for anyone else here, you are more in trouble with me for making people worry about if you were okay than for leaving abruptly. RL happens, You are welcome to come back when it allows. Just, if it happens again, drop us a line so we don't worry, 'kay?
Mychael, I just want you to know that I completely understand where you are coming from. I've been in that position where you were with the Internet crowding out the more important parts of life, and not too long ago either. And I've done a similar thing with other sites, cutting them out completely. So I understand your reasons.
Yes, we are friends here, and while that means some may have been hurt by your abrupt absence, it also means we love and forgive. Thank you for explaining what you were going through, and know that we will understand if you need a break again and will give you the space you need, but we will always be here waiting when you return.