A Note to Senior Members

[Ubahsur Kindellaer]

I have created bait to draw some out.

 

[Ilissa al'Nari]

Haha, I remember posting something very, very like this when I was a citizen :P. Even got some of the same responses (the one about there being so many JMs that some SMs felt intimidated, for example) and got totally freaked out because I thought I might have pissed someone off . And now I am a hermit myself - believe me, the irony is not lost on me.

Anyway, I try to post a bit more in the open-ish forums these days than what I have done in a few years, but like some of the others I typically find it easier to participate in forums that contain something else than a bunch of emotes. However, if people see me lurking on the boards and want to get to know me I generally quite like getting PMs!

 

[Raeviendha al'Toma]

Ubahsur Sedai you are one of the most fantastic people ever. Seriously. <3

 

[Raeviendha al'Toma]

Haha, I remember posting something very, very like this when I was a citizen :P. Even got some of the same responses (the one about there being so many JMs that some SMs felt intimidated, for example) and got totally freaked out because I thought I might have pissed someone off . And now I am a hermit myself - believe me, the irony is not lost on me.

Anyway, I try to post a bit more in the open-ish forums these days than what I have done in a few years, but like some of the others I typically find it easier to participate in forums that contain something else than a bunch of emotes. However, if people see me lurking on the boards and want to get to know me I generally quite like getting PMs!

I have worried on a daily basis that I'm being a pest. Oh and I will pm you...
Thank you for your feedback.

 

[Kelgan al'Moranwin]

I have worried on a daily basis that I'm being a pest.

That you've managed to amass 2k posts in a month and a half is fairly impressive, no question... But a pest? No.

 

[Ilissa al'Nari]

Stop worrying . And yes, you may take that as an order if you wish :P.

PMs are awesome, and so is Ubah. Even if she was scary back when I was a lil' cit :P.

 

[Raeviendha al'Toma]

That you've managed to amass 2k posts in a month and a half is fairly impressive, no question... But a pest? No.

:curtsey Thank you Kelgan Gaidin.

 

[Ubahsur Kindellaer]

I am not scary. :tug Or awesome. :P

But thank you. :curtsey

And yes, my pm box is always open.

The three most common reasons I hear for lurking and sticking to private fora are:

• Too much spam/nothing interesting in public spaces
• It isn't "safe" to share more than surface/shallow things, which perpetuates the first point.
• There are too many people, and I'm at my quota right now. I don't want to/can't/won't get to know new people.

The first is something that has been a problem since the SM forum was created in 2003. :P It's only gotten worse as time goes on. That is why on occasion you will see efforts made by Execs and Membership admins to create threads that aren't so spammy and will promote discussion. Insider tip, every once in a (long) while Officers will post in Senior Members yelling at people to get out and be silly to hopefully impact this issue.

The second and third are fair points. It is fairly public and it is scary/hard to expose oneself - and sometimes quite literally not safe to do so. Also, we're all some variant of nerd, which tend to be a bit more introverted than most so we all have our times of feeling over whelemed. Fun fact I read once upon a time, the average person can only maintain an average of 100 relationships at one time. So factor in all the people in your life and how many are you active engaged with? I know my personal number is much lower than 100. But then, work forces me to build relationships with my clients, so that eats into said number.

/hijack /lecture

 

[Jahily al'Karee]

Raevi - I'm so glad you started this topic!! I had a lot of the same thoughts when I started, which is part of why it took me a while to apply to the Tower.

Ubahsur Sedai - I like your summary and it explains a lot.

What I would add as food for thought for those of you who are comfortable and afraid of us newbies, put yourselves in our shoes. Although many people come here already knowing folks, some of us do not. One of the things that makes TV so appealing is the camaraderie y'all have - which is both cool and intimidating as an outsider. So if one is new, doesn't have an "in" from the start, is also on the introverted and nerdy scale as mentioned above, it can be difficult to know where to fit.

Bottom line? You made it awesome and drew people to your awesome-ness! And we want to continue and share in this awesomeness. So peek in every once in a while, trust me y'all are a lot scarier than we are!

 

[Ubahsur Kindellaer]

Great advice, Jahilly! :fistbump

 

[Relinya Ryviarra]

Raevi - I'm so glad you started this topic!! I had a lot of the same thoughts when I started, which is part of why it took me a while to apply to the Tower.

Ubahsur Sedai - I like your summary and it explains a lot.

What I would add as food for thought for those of you who are comfortable and afraid of us newbies, put yourselves in our shoes. Although many people come here already knowing folks, some of us do not. One of the things that makes TV so appealing is the camaraderie y'all have - which is both cool and intimidating as an outsider. So if one is new, doesn't have an "in" from the start, is also on the introverted and nerdy scale as mentioned above, it can be difficult to know where to fit.

Bottom line? You made it awesome and drew people to your awesome-ness! And we want to continue and share in this awesomeness. So peek in every once in a while, trust me y'all are a lot scarier than we are!

this is true, but for some of us who have been around 10 + years getting out of our sitting rooms is getting more difficult the larger our site grows. mostly it is just time related (for me anyway). I dont have as much time on my hands as I used to when I was in school so I know thats why I am not around as much. anyway what Im saying is for those of us "oldies" sometimes its hard to remember the days when we were JMs getting to know people and how hard it is and with the large size the site has become/is becoming it is hard to keep up with...personally anyway :P

 

[Raeviendha al'Toma]

What I would add as food for thought for those of you who are comfortable and afraid of us newbies, put yourselves in our shoes. Although many people come here already knowing folks, some of us do not. One of the things that makes TV so appealing is the camaraderie y'all have - which is both cool and intimidating as an outsider. So if one is new, doesn't have an "in" from the start, is also on the introverted and nerdy scale as mentioned above, it can be difficult to know where to fit.

Jahily you hit the nail on the head with what I was trying to get across!!

 

[Myralin al'Ser]

My advice to the lurky SMs is to pick just one or two extra threads outside of your forums to check on a regular basis. Even if you dont post every time, at least youre there and following the conversation for when it turns to something youre interested in. Also, make it a point to scan thread titles in General.

As for it being spammy, yeah it is. But i remember when i was a citizen that thats how i really got involved and got to know people. So i think it is important to have that fun atmosphere so new people can feel at ease. Remember, in the books the Aes Sedai view the novices as children. So go play with the kids every once in a while!

I think this is an important issue because ive known people who have left the site because they couldnt find sponsors. We have to make sure people arent leaving for silly reasons like that!

 

[Calypsa al'Nicolai]

What I would add as food for thought for those of you who are comfortable and afraid of us newbies, put yourselves in our shoes. Although many people come here already knowing folks, some of us do not. One of the things that makes TV so appealing is the camaraderie y'all have - which is both cool and intimidating as an outsider. So if one is new, doesn't have an "in" from the start, is also on the introverted and nerdy scale as mentioned above, it can be difficult to know where to fit.

I agree with this. I remember joining this site many years ago and I came here on my own. I didn't know anyone beforehand and it was intimidating at first. Thankfully, what I found quickly was some people with similar interests. I made a couple of friends that way, and through those new friends (one was new like me, another had been here awhile) I was able to branch out. It's definitely tough coming here when you do not know anyone! For a shy nerdy introvert coming here and actually posting publicly o) took me way outside my comfort zone! I remember cringing as I made my first post. It was hard to do, but I am glad that I made the effort.

I guess what I'm saying is that it takes a lot of effort to come and post here as a "new" person! I totally get that. On the flip side of the coin, as Relinya said, it also takes a lot of effort to come and post here as an "old" person. It can be very tough to keep up and I do find it hard to meet new people. I try to get out on occasion (such as the thread that I spoke with you in Jahily, re: play space for kids in Home & Garden) but even that is hard! I am used to spending my time in the Administrative area of the site or possibly in my Red forums. Coming out to play in the more public space is just something that I'm not used to doing anymore... And haven't really, in probably 5 years. It's hard to break old habits! (Never mind the whole "I have kids and don't have as much free time to play online" as I used to thing. )

But anyway, I promise that I'm not scary and I'd be happy to talk with newbies. Especially shy introverted ones like me!

 

[Relinya Ryviarra]

not scary my..... cough ahem I mean nope not scary at all <3 <3

 

[Ty al'Djinn]

All red sisters are intimidating!

 

[Vallah al'Dera]

no they aren't. The Reds are lovely ladies! *snuggles up the Reds*

 

[Ty al'Djinn]

You can be lovely and intimidating at the same time!

 

[Kelgan al'Moranwin]

no they aren't. The Reds are lovely ladies! *snuggles up the Reds*

"Lovely" and "intimidating" are not mutually exclusive

 

[Ty al'Djinn]

I think it's all the stilettos.