Sweet, good thing the soldier test was multiple choice, I was flailing. Thanks for the kind words everyone! I'm thinking of going and spamming all the forums to celebrate... but my mini-angel shoulder is telling me to just go visit #wheel for a little while since my idiocy doesn't appear so carved in stone there.
Also, special thanks to the Yellow Ajah for the welcome card PM
I would like to thank God, some random dude I met on a ski lift one time ten years ago and... well, those are the important ones.