Why are so many relationships with younger women and older men?

Discussion in 'Wheel of Time Discussion - Books 1-14' started by Leira Galene, Apr 4, 2018.

  1. Leira Galene

    Leira Galene Mafia Admin Aes Sedai Forum Moderator

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    I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I can't remember/it was probably a long time ago. But I'm finally working on my reread again and am on Knife of Dreams, and it bothers me throughout the series that Jordan seems to perpetually ship his female characters with men much older than them (the three boys' relationships being the exceptions). Lan is considerably older than Nynaeve (for real, she's roughly my age and Lan is roughly my dad's age. I would find that very odd). Thom is (I think? harder to tell with the Aes Sedai) older than Moiraine. Gareth is older than Siuan. Even Gawyn is probably quite a few years older than Egwene.

    It's just weird to me that it's such a prevalent theme in a lot of the relationships. Is it just the cultural thing like where actresses are generally much younger than the actors that play their romantic counterparts?
     
  2. Leala al'Dareis

    Leala al'Dareis Aes Sedai Community Care Coordinator Forum Moderator

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    This bothered me a lot too. :/ Even with my favorite couple, Gareth and Siuan, there was always that nagging in the back of my mind. I mean, I understand that Siuan's age was set, so that she and Moiraine could go and find the DR, but I don't think Gareth was really prominent until the main storyline. He could have been any age.

    And Lan was a good bit older than Moiraine too. Even if he had been closer to her age, his and Nynaeve's relationship wouldn't have made me...as uncomfortable, anyway. :look
     
  3. Alora Sionn

    Alora Sionn Gaidin

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    Hm...I think I always just saw it as the sort of time period, granted they never say what year it is but it seemed like a medieval sort of timeframe. That's the excuse all my Game of Thrones reading friends give me and at least in WoT they are all adults, you talk squicky, the ages in GoT :x ewwww
     
  4. Adanys Wynterwulf

    Adanys Wynterwulf Sparkle Spren

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    I have noticed this too, and it bothers me. Relationships with huge age gaps are not rare even in our world, but I found this to be a bit much. It really hit me when Gareth began falling for Siuan. She has just been stilled so she looks even younger than Aes Sedai normally do, and here is this older man going after someone who (I presume) looks to be 20. Don't get me wrong, I Loved them two together, but the age thing still bothered me.
    Moiraine and Thom...laying aside the fact that they don't make any sense to me, their relationship is just very puzzling to me. Thom is old. He's a badass, but he's old. Granted, Moiraine is 60*, but that doesn't mean much to an Aes Sedai. So again, weird.

    *No she's not, but this has been corrected. vv
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2018
  5. Leala al'Dareis

    Leala al'Dareis Aes Sedai Community Care Coordinator Forum Moderator

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    *groans loudly and rolls eyes* Dooooon't get me started on GoT relationships. I really only like one of them. :lol And, there's really no comparing the two series there. GoT relationships are created for shock value, generally. WoT relationships are not.

    I forgot that Gareth had met Siuan right after her stilling, too. Ugh.

    Moiraine is in her early 40s, actually. She was 23-ish when Rand was born in New Spring. And, as you said, Thom is old. :look
     
  6. Alora Sionn

    Alora Sionn Gaidin

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    Hey just saying :lol I'm not about to judge what two consenting adults decide with regards to their relationships ;) as long as they are both consenting (aka able to consent) and both adults :look
     
  7. Leala al'Dareis

    Leala al'Dareis Aes Sedai Community Care Coordinator Forum Moderator

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    Consent. And thus you have the main difference between most of GoT and WoT relationships. :lol

    That is an important issue, too, and I am supportive of a lot of the couples mentioned in this thread. But the prevailing theme is still...not my favorite. :lol
     
  8. Jeffan Caliarthan

    Jeffan Caliarthan Aes Sedai

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    [factoids]

    Thom's age is never given, but Moiraine is 42 years old.

    Gareth Bryne's age is never given, but Siuan is 40 years old.

    Nynaeve is 25 years old, and Lan is 45 years old.

    [/factoids]

    I don't think any of those are super crazy.
     
  9. Alora Sionn

    Alora Sionn Gaidin

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    No worries, we all have preferences, I personally wouldn't want to date a guy that much older than me, but my sisters dig the older guy thing so I've gotten used to it and accept them and their choice.

    As for WoT, I have no real problem with Moiraine and Thom, though I don't understand it, it never really seemed to make a lot of sense to me. Nynaeve and Lan are my favorite couple in the whole series, but I always saw it as she was like 22-24 and he was like early to mid 40s, not sure where his age was mentioned, especially since some of the guys that remember when he was a baby were still alive when Nynaeve went recruiting never made me think he was 60+. The others I never paid much attention to their ages.
     
  10. Adanys Wynterwulf

    Adanys Wynterwulf Sparkle Spren

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    :cheese to each their own. I likewise have some family with significant age difference. And I've never really given it a second thought. Both Gareth and Thom gripe inwardly about their advancing age, so it's safe to assume they're somewhat old (or maybe not, because I do the same and I'm...not old :look )
    Nynaeve is my favorite person, and Lan is up there somewhere as well, and they make a fantastic couple, but that didn't keep me from noticing their age difference :nono It's 20 years. It's not "end of the world, hold on to your boots" shocking, but it's notable. (IMO)
     
  11. Leira Galene

    Leira Galene Mafia Admin Aes Sedai Forum Moderator

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    For real though, I'm 25 and my dad is 50. I cannot imagine myself falling in love with someone who is essentially my dad's age. That doesn't seem reasonable at all to me? I don't know. I think if it was just the one, it wouldn't even be a thing I thought about, because their respective ages make sense for their characters, and their relationship also makes sense. It's just that it's part of a trend that's unsettling to me, I think.

    And yeah, Gareth and Thom definitely read as in their 60s at least to me. And I mean yeah obviously they're all consenting etc but I'm really glad I'm not the only one who finds it weird. :lol
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2018
  12. Leira Galene

    Leira Galene Mafia Admin Aes Sedai Forum Moderator

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    Also this, it's always seemed underdeveloped :cheese I wish we had gotten to see them interact more before FoH.
     
  13. Adanys Wynterwulf

    Adanys Wynterwulf Sparkle Spren

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    That is likely why I find it so weird. I were Nynaeve, Lan would literally be 1 year younger than my dad (he is 21 years older than I). I just don't see how I could feel comfortable with that.
     
  14. Marrow Rahien

    Marrow Rahien Jakeykins Gaidin

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    Just reverse the concept. This is how bad ass an accomplished a guy has to be for an Aes Sedai to notice them. :p
     
  15. Jarl Lewin

    Jarl Lewin Aes Sedai

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    The couples mentioned are the only examples I can think of in tWoT, and I think it comes down to who and what they are. Nynaeve might be a bit more strange because she is young to begin with (and as I recall there was specific mention of her being 27, and complaining that she looked younger and wasn't taken seriously by some). The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills. Other than that . . . it's fiction. :cheese
     
  16. Leira Galene

    Leira Galene Mafia Admin Aes Sedai Forum Moderator

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    Just because it's fiction doesn't mean we can't question it, though. It was written by a real person who made choices.
     
  17. Leira Galene

    Leira Galene Mafia Admin Aes Sedai Forum Moderator

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    Fair :p Although with Nynaeve I've always suspected there was a bit of "holy crap this is the first guy I've ever met who isn't from my village and is either married or a teenager"
     
  18. Alora Sionn

    Alora Sionn Gaidin

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    I think I remember that now that you mention it.

    If I recall she was also the one who pursued him, and he kept trying to put her off and discourage her (though it was due to the fact that he didn't want her pining for someone who's life was forfeit, not because of the age). I think if Nynaeve is indeed 27 and Lan is 45, and Nynaeve pursued him and not the other way around, it's not really a huge deal. IMO, age differences are funny because the same difference in age can be horrifying or no big deal depending on the actual ages of the people. Ex: My husband and I are 4 years apart and when we met it was no big deal, but if I had met him when I was 18 it would be soooo wrong to have dated him since he would have been 14 :lol I don't see any issues once both are over 25 because they should know their own mind by then. Nynaeve was just being a strong independent woman going for what she wants haha ;)
     
  19. Adanys Wynterwulf

    Adanys Wynterwulf Sparkle Spren

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    :rofl Darn you. I had to legit muffle my laughter, as I'm reading this at work, and nothing about my work is funny.
     
  20. Marrow Rahien

    Marrow Rahien Jakeykins Gaidin

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    the first grizzled yet attractive Warder Prince I've ever met who isn't from my village, you mean. :p

    Oh and he's bonded to the woman I instantly hated, 'cause I'm totes better than her and I know it even if she acts like Creator's gift, and I can take him from her. :giggle