I know where you're coming from Zandera. I'm rereading now and compared to last time, I can hardly remember some of the details as they were. 6 years makes a big difference in how you see the world, and a single life changing event, especially in light of the characters life changing events can...
What happened to Thom's nephew happened more regularly than the Tower admits. Elaida mentions this in the opening of CoS. The Red Ajah seems to have little regard for low profile male channelers like Thom's nephew.
For folks saying that gentling was the only way, that's inaccurate, male...