Gendered SM Forums

Discussion in 'Ask the White Tower' started by Alexstrasza Ruskea, Feb 14, 2020.

  1. Alexstrasza Ruskea

    Alexstrasza Ruskea My pronoun is They, for I am Legion Aes Sedai Historian

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    Why am I in one, and how do I get out of it?

    Once upon a time, this site restricted women to the Aes Sedai path and men to the Gaidin path. There was a Sedai and a Gaidin forum, which were effectively female and male forums. Then integration happened, and those forums were renamed and expressly gendered.

    They're great for people who want them. I don't advocate getting rid of them.

    But it makes me extremely uncomfortable being in one, not because I have no interest in those discussions but because my actual gender is being deligitimized. My personal details page, which has an option for gender, is set to unspecified. I imagine in my case this forum access might be a relic from past versions of the boards, where people kept access to wherever they originally had and so I would still be in what used to be the Aes Sedai forum because I never demoted. But how is that handled for new members? I know I'm not the only genderqueer member on the site, and I know some of them joined after integration. Is there an opt-in, an opt-out? If so, how can members opt out? This doesn't just affect folx who were pre-integration, but also anyone who might come out as trans or genderqueer in the future.

    I don't personally care if we create a Genderqueer Forum (for those of us who are genderfluid, nonbinary, agender, etc), because I personally rarely venture out of Brown. Although it would be a nice gesture, and maybe there are others out there who actually do wish such a forum existed. Also, there's a South Pacific Events forum which is essentially a ghost town, but is still recognized as a part of the site because of the possibility that folx might need it. So, if people want to discuss the idea of creating one, feel free.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Alora Sionn

    Alora Sionn Gaidin

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    I emailed Sa to have a SM related forum removed from my view because it wasn't for me, you can do that too :) membership@
     
  3. Serenla Tamowith

    Serenla Tamowith Mistress of Vices & Aes Sedai Aes Sedai

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    Yes, they can, but it doesnt address the larger issue. ;)
     
  4. Alora Sionn

    Alora Sionn Gaidin

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    O
    Well I just saw the question and didn't read the rest lol you guys can talk about that but in the meantime you can request opting out of that forum that way, good luck with the rest!
     
  5. Onis O'Leia

    Onis O'Leia Aes Sedai

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    I think you bring up a very relevant situation, Alex. THis is defnitely something I'd be interested in the community figuring out, for the sake of both current and future non-binary & gender queer people in this community.
     
  6. Rhed al'Tere

    Rhed al'Tere Mother Amyrlin Seat

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  7. Zashara Sho'am

    Zashara Sho'am The Dark One / Mafia Admin Aes Sedai Forum Moderator

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  8. Rhed al'Tere

    Rhed al'Tere Mother Amyrlin Seat

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    Thanks love!
     
  9. Mieriana Souvra

    Mieriana Souvra Keeper-Elect Aes Sedai

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    It's on my list to discuss at our next admin meeting. I am pretty sure it's not gendered--it's sedai/gaidin, which are no longer gender separated, but I understand the point. Thanks for putting it on our radar! We'll definitely discuss changes!
     
  10. Zashara Sho'am

    Zashara Sho'am The Dark One / Mafia Admin Aes Sedai Forum Moderator

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    Its gendered.
     
  11. Calen Velervron

    Calen Velervron Gaidin

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    Even though its coming up at the next meeting I still think its worth a discussion here...

    Can anyone give any ideas on how to make this happen? How should it look in a perfect world?

    Is there a way to just de-gender everything up front? I am not sure with integration why having anything gendered here would be necessary.
     
  12. Venric Methalion

    Venric Methalion Gaidin

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    There was a lot of discussion during the development of Integration that some people wanted forums where they felt comfortable communicating about things with only their own gender, hence the two gender-based SM forums. For people who don't want to be assigned to one by default, it would be a nice gesture to confirm if newly raised folks would like access to the one they identify with, or a third if that is something that is created.
     
  13. Calen Velervron

    Calen Velervron Gaidin

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    Is that what the clubhouse is? I thought everyone could see that...
     
  14. Alenya Al'Roran

    Alenya Al'Roran Aes Sedai Director of Marketing Social Marketing Manager

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    We have a Parlour. I don't know of this Clubhouse of which you speak.
     
  15. Alexstrasza Ruskea

    Alexstrasza Ruskea My pronoun is They, for I am Legion Aes Sedai Historian

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    Yup. On mouse-over:

    [​IMG]


    I'm glad you all plan to discuss changes!


    Yes, some folx feel uncomfortable discussing things such as their bodies, relationships, et cetera with other genders. For example, there are threads about menopause, menstrual cups, and pregnancy in the Parlour. Which, it's cool if genderqueer folx who have those experiences want access to such a forum. We aren't a monolith. For myself, if I wanted to discuss those topics, I would bring them up in the Chambers.

    Even the names reek of gender stereotypes :rolleyes The Clubhouse and the Parlour........... Sigh.
     
  16. Alora Sionn

    Alora Sionn Gaidin

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    Looking back when integration first happened it was, for a short time (and as a placeholder name) called girl talk lol it made for some funny posts teasing it at least
     
  17. Anujun Trahearn

    Anujun Trahearn Aes Sedai

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    I'm in the same boat as you, so to speak. I asked to be removed from the gendered forums altogether.
     
  18. Alexstrasza Ruskea

    Alexstrasza Ruskea My pronoun is They, for I am Legion Aes Sedai Historian

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    I intend to, but it has still been worth bringing up. People might not be aware they had that option (as I was not). Also, since starting the thread, several people have told me they didn't even know there WERE gendered forums. As one said, "I thought the men just weren't posting in certain threads out of politeness." Also, there might be folx who find a genderqueer space on the boards to be a welcome addition.
     
  19. Anujun Trahearn

    Anujun Trahearn Aes Sedai

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    Since there are a number of us, perhaps a third Genderqueer/Non-Binary forum can be added. I would like that.
     
  20. Dnae Ila

    Dnae Ila Gaidin Company Commander of Dai M'hael

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    I think gendered forums should remain, but I am a fan of asking upon raising if they would like access to one.

    I don't know if we have any trans members, but I think there may be some consideration for, for example, if a member who identifies as male experiences menstruation and would maybe appreciate access to forums where such is discussed. (just an example, and perhaps a trans man wouldn't want to be part of those discussions, but I think we should be open to the possibility.)